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| Seriously, does any actually visit this page anymore? It seems pretty futile. Facebook is the way of the future. I wish Xanga best of luck drifting in the vast nothingness of webspace.
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| Every single time I try, it seems that I fail. I'm ready to take a huge first step, but someone gets there before I do. Then I have to sit by and be the best friend, again and again. Why? Why can't it ever work out?
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| Wow. I haven't updated this very often, have I?
It's probably because this semester is killing me. Seriously, I might die before I come home.
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| Right then. Well, the last post I...posted...I had hoped for more comments and suggestions.
Instead,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Remember the reason for the season. I know that I tend to get so wrapped up in the gifts, the friends, the family, the cookies, and the decorations that I put my Jesus at the back of the line. Something that I have to constantly remind myself is that this celebration that the entire nation stops for is based on a pagan celebration during winter. But our God is bigger than that. We are celebrating the incarnation of God--the creator of the entire universe! When I pause and think of that, everything else seems to just melt away.
Thanks, God, for loving me, for loving the world, so much, that you came down as a child. Thank you for growing up a perfect boy and a perfect man. Thank you for ultimately dying for my sins and becoming my savior. Help me to remember that more than anything else this holiday season. Give me your peace rather than what will eventually be dissatisfaction with this world.
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| Sometimes, you really need to rethink where your life is going. I have been in this rather uncomfortable situation lately. I love Kings. I really do. I love my classes. I love my professors, my friends, my city. Almost everything about it. But there is one minor thing missing that, in my opinion, ends up being a major issue.
Since our fall retreat in September, I've felt a very strong urge and feeling to go into English literature education. And tonight I watched the movie Dead Poets Society. Watching it made me see something that I feel I could do well. The English teacher was so excited, so motivated by what he was teaching. I've had dead teachers, and I've had live teachers. The ones who truly care about what they profess, who absolutely love what they are doing, they are the teachers who leave an impression on students. This year, I have felt that passionate about literature.
Kings wants leaders who will impact the world, students who are intelligent with a voracious appetite for learning. But those students need to be educated somewhere. This knowledge comes from the schooling that comes before college. I am ready to be an influence on the world, but I feel that maybe my part is to be an educater of those who are going to lead the world. I just don't see myself where Kings wants me to be.
So, what am I thinking? What am I going to do? Well, that's my dilemma right now. If I wanted to study English literature and stay at Kings, I would get 15 credit hours of lit classes, plus a "Great Book" or two or three in each class I take. Some of those are discussed at length. Others, not so much. But they are discussed in relation to the course. For example, we didn't talk about the literary merits of The Inferno, but rather its political implications. Is that what would be the best preparation for teaching literature? Maybe that is good. If someone knows, by all means, please tell me.
I would love to stay at Kings. But 5 classes just does not seem to be enough to me. So now I am thinking about transfering. This was a position I have always been in, and, for a while here, I thought I had left it behind. Now, though, I'm finding myself back into this mindset. Just for curiosities' sake, though, I am looking at Wheaton. I hear that they have a good English department. Honestly, I want to stay here, but I just don't know if it's feasible for my life.
If anyone has any wise comments or encouragements for me, please share. I need the help. And if you're one of the random teachers at CVCA who reads this, I might come and talk to you about it next week...
There's my heart. Do with it as you choose.
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